Big Seanhas opened about his struggles with suicidal ideation.
During an appearance on author and professor Michael Eric Dyson‘s new Facebook Watch show, One Question One Mike, the Detroit rapper, who has throughout his career been open about his battle with depression, revealed that he’s contemplated suicide multiple times in his life.null
“You know, if you’re a man and you’re not working hard, it’s like, ‘Aw, you getting soft.’ So that was always in the back of my head. I’m working, exhausting myself for years and years, and I couldn’t get through the day without feeling terrible. I for sure contemplated suicide a lot of times, having guns in my hand, feeling it for real,” the 32-year-old rapper shared. “[I] was even planning it out to the point where like, ‘Hey, if I do kill myself, at least my family will get this amount of money.” Sean added, “Because I was just stressed out and not happy. I realized that OK, I need to stop everything I’m doing and figure this out or I’m going to self-destruct.”
Last year, the “Wolves” rapper spoke to CBC about his latest album Detroit 2, in which he raps about how close he came to taking his own life. “When I say I had a Glock 17 in my hand, I really did. I don’t know why I was feeling like that, but I couldn’t stop feeling like it. It was deep,” he recalled. “And it taught me that all these conditional things are just that. You think you want the watch or the car and all that, right? But those things get old so quick.”
In his Wednesday (March 3) interview, Sean told Michael that he was able to get out of that dark headspace by taking time off from work and putting himself first. “I took the time off, canceled everything I was doing, sought therapy, connected with God more, spiritually grounded myself, and put myself first as a priority for the first time ever,” he explained.
If you or someone you know need mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.