DMC has opened up about his journey with alcoholism in a new conversation, revealing he once even got to a point of wanting to take his own life before getting sober.

Both DMC and his Run-DMC partner Rev Run appeared on the second episode of Will Smith’s Class of ’88 podcast, released on Wednesday (October 25). While discussing his battle, DMC revealed the pressure began when the group was evolving into the New Jack Swing era in the late ’80s

“[The late Jam Master Jay] got me wearing a green, yellow, purple, and green suit doing the running man,” he said. “There’s nothing wrong with Jay bringing New Jack Swing into Run-DMC. It just wasn’t for me, but I did it anyway, not realizing it was going to affect me mentally later.”

As a result, he started drinking beer during the day and hard liquor at night – and his usage got so heavy, he started having vocal spasms. It got so bad that he needed surgery, and when that didn’t work, it had him contemplating the worst?

After nothing worked, now I’m thinking of killing myself,” he said. “Because I’m thinking, I can’t do the thing that I was put here to do. So I don’t want to disappoint Run and Jay, I don’t want to go tell them I can’t do this no more, so let me just kill myself. My life ended, so I thought, when the Run-DMC thing quieted down and I lost myself. So now, I’m really gonna kill myself. I have to kill myself.”

He was eventually able to get on his feet and get sober and once again hit the stage and perform — listen to the full story below.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame group may not be hitting the stage anymore, however, as they announced their retirement earlier this year.

In a January interview with Rock the Bells, Darryl “DMC” McDaniels revealed the iconic group would be closing the curtain on live performances with their last ever show at New York’s Madison Square Garden this past spring.

Run-DMC is over,” he said. “The only way Run-DMC gets back together is if The Beatles get back together. Can that happen?”

“The final show that we are ever going to do is going to be at Madison Square Garden in April,” DMC continued. “It’s going to be the last episode of the documentary we’re doing. Run-DMC’s last show ever. ‘Cause it’s time for Run to go be Paul McCartney and me to be John Lennon. We done did what we could do.”

The show is going to be like The Last Waltz by The Band,” he added. “We’re doing that movie idea. You’ll see Ice-T come and do a song with us. You’ll see Wu-Tang come do a song with us. Anybody can buy a ticket to the show.”

Despite the April show supposedly being their last, the guys hit the stage in August for one more as part of Mass Appeal’s 50th Anniversary of Hip Hop celebration, bringing down the house with a slew of their classic hits including “It’s Like That,” “Sucker MC’s,” “It’s Tricky,” “Walk This Way,” and “My Adidas.”

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